PATIENCE and her husband had been married
for five years when they moved into a posh bungalow on a better side of
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Lagos. As they both showed guests round during the house-warming
ceremony, they looked the perfect couple and took in the ooh and aah
gasps of admirers.
The guests thought that
Luke, the husband, must have made some appreciable progress in his job
for him to be able to afford a pad like this.
Three
years after, Luke was out of the house, the bitter feud that’d been
brewing for a couple of years had now boiled over. One day, Luke came
home from an all-night outing and found his suitcases neatly packed and
waiting for him by the door. In the rain! Four fierce-looking men stood
guard at the door, menacing looking cudgels in their hands.
“I
was shocked and I guess the shock will never wear off,” Luke said a few
months after the incident. “That’s what comes with marrying a rich
man’s daughter. I can’t see my children now and my wife thinks I’m dirt,
and it’s all thanks to my money-bag father-in-law. He wants you to roll
on the floor with gratitude whenever he shows you the slightest favour.
I mean, there are other ways of showing gratitude without licking
someone’s hand like a dog. Well, he has his daughter now, let him marry
her!” Patience was at pains to talk about a marriage she described as a
waking I nightmare’. I sought her out to ask her side of the story.
“That man is an animal,” she shuddered, remembering the things she said
she had to go through to stay married to him. “Despite the good
education he had, he had this giant complex about my parents’ wealth.
Daddy was very generous to us when we got married. I am his first
daughter and he gave us a brand new car and furnished flat. Luke was
quite happy letting daddy shoulder his responsibilities as that gave him
extra cash for his twin obsessions: wine and women. I’d seen these
traits in him before we got married and had naively assumed marriage
would change him.
“The women he ran around with
were obviously a deliberate attempt to belittle me. Very uncouth and
classless, they thought they were having a stab at the upper-class by
sleeping with the same man that I was sleeping with. I felt really
inadequate and humiliated.
“My friends told me
that I was probably a bit too straight-laced; that men prefer firebrands
in bed and that I should be more adventurous in the bedroom. They gave
me a few pointers. So when next we made love and I wanted to try some of
the things my friends advised, my husband just stopped. ‘What was all
that for?’, he asked, I felt stupid. What the hell did he think it was
for? He obviously preferred to have me subdued and unadventurous. After a
few more incidents like this, he started giving me little lectures
about how unfeminine it was for women to become sexually aggressive. Can
you imagine what I did suddenly being turned into an aggression? I felt
really angry; especially when he lectured”wives shouldn’t be trollops!
“After
that, he criticized everything I did and openly ran down rich men and
their kids with such a vengeance that it finally dawned on me that he
really resented my coming from a rich family. The more Daddy did for us,
the more he sneered at him. In fairness to my husband, daddy always had
this impression that Luke was a lout and he-never tried to hide his
disapproval of him.
“Unfortunately, my husband
proved my father right in the end. Our second child was on the way when
daddy gave us the bungalow but my husband said we should pass it off as a
furnished accommodation to the personal department of his office so he
could collect the rent. It was my dad who took me to the hospital when I
was in labour. My husband was nowhere to be found. I had a difficult
birth and had to be operated on. Luke didn’t come to the hospital for
days. On one of daddy’s visits to the hospital, his face was like
thunder. He said he was just from our house and Luke was having this big
party to welcome his new son without even bothering to find out how
mother and child were!
“The final straw came
about three months later when I woke up to feed the baby and heard
female giggles in the sitting room. When I went to investigate, I found
my husband with two of his friends and four girls – they were obviously
drunk to the eye-balls. They grinned stupidly as I drove them out of the
house. My husband went with them.
I was really livid. That was when I phoned dad that I had had enough.
He
said I was to do what I deemed fit. I knew I no longer had a marriage
anyway. Putting his things in the rain was a way of having my own back.
He couldn’t take anything from the flat because they were all daddy’s
and he wouldn’t take the car. Let’s see how he likes it scrimping and
saving to keep up with his pet hobbies … “
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